There's always one...

...like this woman (who shall remain faceless to protect her ignorance). That one person in the deli, in the middle of the lunch rush, who has no clue what's going on. Where do I stand? Where do I order? I want to order from the hot bar and a sandwich! Never mind the fifty other people in this crowded deli on Seventh Avenue who have all seemed to figure this stuff out on their own.

And when she finally gets someones attention behind the counter, it's all sass. I want this this this and this.. but not this this and only that and this (details have been changed to protect the innocent meats and condiments). And finally- Are you sure that's the smoked this?? To which the beleaguered guy behind the counter answers with a curt- "Yes," accompanied by a full body eye roll.

This was no tourist, either (which in some cases may be grounds for dismissal on this grievance). Makes you wonder how somebody like that even gets up in the morning and chooses an outfit for the day. NO, I want that shirt and those pants! Is this my closet? Which closet are my jackets in? Honestly. Get out of the way and let me get my frickin' turkey hero and be on my way.

One Happy Island

And it is. My wife and I just got back from spending 6 days in Aruba, and it was everything we could've hoped for in a vacation- sun, sand (on our hotel's private island- glorious), good food & drink, and plenty of relaxation.

Of the many places to dine, you can find such obscure island cuisine at these places:

Okay, I jest. But you could certainly pick out the Americans walking down the street, holding their Burger King bags. Like the girls we encountered on the boat to the private island, clutching their Subway cups, and stating to some co-eds, "Yeah, there's totally a Subway in the marketplace... thank god." Jared would be proud.

But, really? It's like the people that come to New York and stand in line to eat at the Olive Garden... in New York, where you can trip and fall into cheaper, better Italian restaurants. What happened to America being the home of the brave? Live a little, people!

My wife and I were a little more adventurous (although we did stop at Dunkin' Donuts for a quick breakfast one morning). We came armed with reccomendations from friends, and stumbled on to few places by ourselves. And the best thing is, you don't need to know where anything is located- you hop in a cab and say, "Smokey Joe's BBQ," and the cab driver takes you there. No, "it's on the corner of blah and blah blah," just the name of the restaurant and they know where it is. Not that it's a huge shock- it's not that big of an island, and tourists are the ones hopping in cabs- but there are good number of restaurants to choose from, and on different parts of the island. It makes me want to hop in a NYC cab and say, "Take me to Cara Mia," or "Chat 'n Chew, please," and see what happens.

We were not without new friends on the beach:

And what's a vacation, I ask you, without a pink duck?



And one more question...


Are you on Aruba's most reliable wireless network?

Anyway... Always hard to make the jump back to the real world. And on Wednesday morning as I crossed Seventh Avenue and felt the late winter wind whipping right through me, I was longing for those warm island breezes. And sadly, the only physical remains from our trip- besides the obligatory t-shirts purchased- are my itchy, sunburned back and scalp, and some extra pounds picked up at the many island eateries we patronized. All I know is- it's Friday, and I am looking forward to the weekend.