Confessions of a new dad, vol. 7: Traveling circus

Now, it's obvious that travel changes when you have a child. Anybody with any level of common sense can figure that one out. But just how much it changes you can't know until you've done it with a child of your own.

We made a trip down to Baltimore for Fourth of July weekend, when our little girl was just over two months. We made this trip by car. While there was extra time added to the trip to take care of feedings, changings and the like- it wasn't too out of the ordinary from a normal car trip. You see, you just load up all she needs for the weekend in the back of the car and there it stays for the duration of the trip. While this is mostly true for plane travel, the added romp from through the airport until you actually get on the plane proves to be the challenge.

Going through airport security is a hassle without a baby. Take your shoes off. Take your belt off. Empty the contents of your life in a plastic bin and motor through the metal detector and try to make sense of it all on the other side. Add a baby, and her accouterments, to the mix and it's like adding mass amounts of tequila to the hokey-pokey. "You put your left foot it in... wait, which is my left foot?...(drink)... wait, what's a foot?" It's now take your shoes off, take your belt off, empty the pockets (the wife does so as well)... Then it's do "We take her out of the car seat?" "Yes." Remove the baby from the car seat, detach said car seat from the stroller and separate it from its base, collapse stroller, make sure everything fits through the rubber curtain separating the rest of the world from x-ray land... breathe. Look back, realize that you're holding up a bunch of people who look thrilled with you- and let's face it if they were in that much of a hurry there's been ample time for the to have gone ahead of you- quickly slide the remaining bits of your inanimate entourage on the treadmill, race through the the metal detector hoping and praying you've taken everything beep-worthy off, and then start the whole process in the reverse on the other side.

And I realize they're probably doing the best they can- but can we get a little consistency with how this process goes? On the way back, thinking I've got it down pat this time, it's "That needs to be upside-down, that one needs to be wheels first, and please hold the baby by its ankles as you go through the metal detector." Okay, perhaps not that last one, but come on people, let's get it together.

I will say, the pre-board is nice. The "those of you traveling with small children" treatment. Although by the time we get the jet-way and take everything apart to be checked at the door, your pretty much fighting all the regular boarders anyway. On the trip back my wife was wise enough to scoot ahead with the precious cargo whilst I wrestled with the less-precious cargo.

The flight wasn't really all that bad. She didn't sleep quite as much as we'd hoped, but while awake she didn't have any major meltdowns. There was a few moments she was on the precipice, but we were able to coax her back from the edge. Just a lot passing her back and forth between my wife and I, and thankfully understanding passengers sitting adjacent on both legs of the journey.

Getting off the plane and recovering the stroller and car seat, and putting it all together didn't seem to take too long. However, each time we were pretty much holding up the entire flight crew from leaving- not that they offered to help, really.

All in all, we made it. And it certainly wasn't anywhere near as bad as it could have been. I realize that traveling with older children is problematic for other reasons, but look I forward to the day I can say, "You can hold your backpack, sweetie," as she walks next to me. It seems like an upgrade now, but I am sure I will be yearning for simpler times when it comes around.