Confessions of a new dad, vol. 16: Conversation Starter

Living in New York, making small talk with strangers is not something you have to go out of your way to do. In the elevator, on the train- nothing earth-shattering, just small talk. Since becoming a parent, I feel I have become even more small-talkative, especially when I encounter other parents with their small children.

I've always liked seeing babies and small kids while I'm out and about. I'd even make the occasional funny face, or wave at them, or smile at the parent- so as to say your child is cute... Now that I'm a parent though, it's not just mindless talk-about-the-weather stuff, it's also about information gathering. How old? is the first question. Notice the lack of a pronoun attached to the question; often times one can't tell by look if the baby is a boy or girl. Then I offer the information that I have new baby girl at home myself, so as to show I am not just a creepy guy on the train asking questions about their baby. Sometimes the conversation ends there, and we wish each other luck and go on our merry way. But sometimes it goes deeper. Weight, length, developmental stages are all subjects that can be delved into within minutes of striking up this conversation with a complete stranger or strangers.

Nothing truly personal is usually exchanged. In fact- even though I usually walk away knowing the name of the child- nine times out of ten I will not have asked the parents' names. And it doesn't necessarily feel like I should have, either. It's enough that we we had this moment -on the train, in the deli, on the street- as if to remind ourselves we're not fumbling around alone in this new thing we call parenthood. A little small talk can go a long way.