Confessions of new dad, vol. 10: First born

Let's get one thing straight. There's always been a child living in our household, long before our little girl came into the picture. That child is me. And I am doing my darnedest  to keep my inner-child on full display, despite the fact that fatherhood is now upon me. I say why let the awesome responsibility of parenting rob me of my childishness!

There always seems to be a bottle or two to wash. All the time we're washing bottles.  Gotta keep it interesting, right? Well, I discovered that when cleaning the nipple, you can fill it half way with water then shove your thumb into it, thereby creating a pint-sized squirt gun, issuing a pretty impressive little stream of water. The cats are often the target of attack, but nothing beats when my wife unwittingly walks into the kitchen while I am on bottle duty. If it's a good one I can sometimes induce a little scream, although usually I get the sideways glance and a "Really?"

Even the in-ear thermometer has also surprisingly proved itself an excellent source of self-amusement. There's these little plastic covers that you place over the in-ear portion of the device, so as to keep things sterile, that then are released at the push of a button. Now, if you push the button quickly and with enough force- these little plastic covers become less sterile and more missile, bouncing off the arm or sometimes forehead of unsuspecting and decidedly less-amused wives. Even though the thermometer has barely been used so far, it's been used enough so that as soon as it comes out of the ear, my wife's reflex is to put her hand up and give a stern, "Don't." Yes, mother. (Then as soon as the hand goes down, it's fire away!)

Hmm. The above examples of my childishness seem to lend themselves to weaponry. Maybe it has to do with the fact my mom wouldn't let me play with gun-toys when I was younger. I don't know who to page, Sigmund Freud or Charlton Heston? In any case, my little girl's still too young for me to worrying about setting any sort of example- so my inner-child is living it up! I'd like to think that as soon is she is old enough to realize what goof her dad is, I'll have stopped doing childish things- but who are we kidding? Plus the toys and gadgets only get cooler as the kid gets older- so, who needs to grow up?