TP, or not TP? That's NOT the question...

I've come to realize that there are two types of people in this world. Those who put the toilet paper on the holder so the paper comes out from the top, and those who put it on so that it comes out from the bottom. Even though there are many preaching unity in the country right now, I think it's time we all took a good look in the mirror and decide just which side we're on.

I am and always been a "From The Top," or FTT guy, and always will be. I guess it's just that I was raised that way, and it's how I've done it as I have come of age and into control of my own toilet paper holders throughout life. But it is more than just an ingrained course of action- it is a choice. Studies have shown* there is far less chance of the paper getting caught behind the roll as you pull it, making it a far more agreeable situation for you after you have done your proverbial business (*there are actually no such studies, it's more of a really good gut feeling). Plus, I like seeing the paper I'm about to use- spotting any defects and/ or abnormalities- and us FTTers get that opportunity with our method. The "From The Bottom" contingent's view of the paper is often compromised due to the bulk of the roll and/or sub-standard lighting coming up from the bathroom floor.

I don't wish to change you, just to educate you. If I come to your house and find that you are an FTB, I will not judge you- and I will not passive aggressively change the orientation of your paper. I am an accepting person, and would never assume I can walk into others' commodes and lay down the law (although I have "laid down the law" in many bathrooms- but in a different manner of speaking).

Decide, people. Don't tell me, "Oh, I just don't pay attention to how I do it..." Because you're not only lying to yourself, you are lying to bald eagles and apple pie too. And that's a shame. Just be who you are, and, to use toilet paper and singer-songwriter Steve Winwood as an example: Just roll with it, baby.